How to Handle Feelings of
DEPRESSION
[1]
by
2 - Physiological Causes of Depression
3 - Psychological Factors in Depression
4 - Spiritual Aspects of Depression
The Reality of Depression
It
was early Thursday morning,
and Mr. Smith's alarm sounded
off at the usual time. He had been able to sleep most of the night, but as he
reached for his alarm clock he found himself enveloped again in the world of
depression. Several years before he had experienced this terrible feeling of
hopelessness, but it had disappeared. Now, depression had settled over him
like a dark, ominous cloud again.
Ø
Unfortunately, many people feel as Mr. Smith
does. Depression has forced its way into their lives, causing untold anguish.
Ø
The universal goal of people everywhere is
peace and happiness. In every
culture, race and social strata, people are longing for contentment. Around the
world a great army of physicians, ministers, psychologists, psychiatrists,
social workers and others are busily engaged in helping people find happiness.
Yet, search as we may,
peace and happiness are elusive. In their quest for personal
contentment, millions end in dismal failure and many more settle for only
limited joy.
The
range of unhappiness runs the gamut from the mild to the extreme. Some people
experience only a minor worry and anxiety, while others suffer severe
emotional upsets which require hospitalization.
Ø
Everyone has times when he feels upset or discouraged. We all have
days when everything seems to go wrong. Since life is made up of "ups
and downs," this is a normal part of living.
Ø
But when life takes on this glum aspect day
after day, it indicates an abnormal condition of discouragement and
depression.
Some,
in this exaggerated state, turn to thoughts of suicide. Many who are
severely and continually depressed will eventually find themselves in mental
hospitals.
Depression - In the past few years
the word "depression" has become a common term. There is
little doubt but that the pressures of modem society have triggered an
enormous increase in this malady. It has cast its gloomy shadow over every
segment of society.
è In many ways emotional
depression is no respecter of persons, for it moves among the privileged
as well as the poor, the learned as well as the lowly. People of any age may
be caught in its grip. And Christians, too, may be the victims of
discouragement and depression.
For
example, at the three Christian counselling centers operated by the Narramore Christian Foundation (offering approximately
25,000 counseling hours a year) substantial numbers of clients
present symptoms of depression.[2]
When
a child of God succumbs to depression, it affects his personal life as well as
his Christian testimony.
-
Satan uses this disturbance to rob the believer of the peace and joy that are rightfully
his. The unhappy Christian not only suffers himself, but is a poor
recommendation for Christianity. With an attitude of defeat and a
pessimistic outlook on life, he is actually a negative witness for the
cause of Christ.
-
Depression
tears at one’s personal relationship with God. Prayers
seem to reach a stalemate. There is little, if any, daily, vital experience
with the Lord. Requests for forgiveness of sin are constantly repeated with no
apparent relief from guilt.
–
Not
only does the depressed individual experience personal unhappiness; his
maladjustments gnaw away at the heart of the home. Children, subjected
to pessimism and worry, begin to react actively. Marriage relationships are
strained. The potential blessings of a Christian home are destroyed by
the unhealthy environment of defeat.
It is difficult for the
average person to understand another's feeling of depression when he does not feel
that way himself. Christians are prone to criticize fellow Christians because
they do not experience a vital and joyous life in the Lord.
–
Christ said in John’s
gospel, "These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might
remain in you, and that your joy might be full" (John
15:11). The Psalmist says, “In thy presence, is fullness of joy"
(Psalm 16:11).
God is offering to man a
happy and meaningful life, but some don't want it on God's terms.
- Others, although seeking,
are unable to appropriate it. Every effort of human happiness seems
doomed to failure. Relief may come for an interval, and happiness for a fleeting moment, but the
emotional attitude of discouragement soon returns. Here is how one believer has
expressed it:
Depression
is.
It
really is.
You
can't get away from it,
Except
temporarily,
For
it returns -
Like
a cat creeping
Upon
its prey.
It
undermines the ambition,
Saps the vitality,
And
weakens emotional stability.
You
are always thinking,
And
you wonder.
What
is the use?
How
can I get rid of it?
When
will it end?
Then,
one day,
You
suddenly realize
It's
gone!
I'm
free!
But,
back in the deep
Recesses
of the mind,
There
is the thought
How
long until
It
strikes again?
There
are reasons why people stagger and fall beneath the crushing weight of emotional and
spiritual depression. To understand and help those suffering from chronic discouragement
and defeat, it is important that we look clearly into the basic causes for such
reactions.
Physiological Causes of Depression
Frequently
a physical basis, or at least a compounding physical factor,
underlies the problem of depression.
General physical factors can definitely influence many types of emotional adjustment. This includes
our over-all health, adequate,
intake of food, to meet our daily bodily requirements, adequate amount of
energy, freedom from conditions of overweight, and an absence of any
other of the obvious physical problems or diseases.
As long as a person is suffering from
a general physical condition such as lack of energy from improper diet,
or from a specific disease such as influenza, or a chronic allergy, or
some other disability, it is difficult to function most effectively on an
emotional and spiritual basis.
–
So
any time a person is faced with a problem such as depression, careful
evaluation of the physical factors and the presence of an disease
or disturbance which might be adding to the problem is of utmost importance.
Even though these
physical factors are not the basic or sole cause of the
disturbance, they do tear at one's over-all ability to tolerate stress and
therefore can compound an emotional difficulty which has actuality arisen from
another source.
There
are also very specific
bodily disturbances
which may play a
major role in some cases of depression.
–
Medical specialists state
that one of the most
important of these is a disturbance of the endocrine glands and more
specifically a thyroid disorder.
-
The
thyroid gland in the human body secretes a hormone, “thyroxine.” This hormone
plays a significant role in regulation of the metabolism of the body.
-
Under-secretion of thyroxine, technicality known as hypothyroidism,
can lead to a general slowing down of bodily metabolism. This can be seen in
over-all sluggishness, sometimes in memory defect or obesity. Accompanying these symptoms
frequently are feelings of fatigue, listlessness and depression.
–
In
cases of malfunctioning thyroid,
there may be little or no
psychological cause. A Lady once called me and told of her serious problem
of depression. She said she was constantly worried and depressed and had
thoughts of suicide.
-
She
had counselled with her minister who had prayed with her. They had talked a number
of times, but she had received no relief.
-
I
suggested that she see a medical specialist, which she did. He, in turn, referred her to an endocrinologist.
Some time later I saw the lady and she said that the endocrinologist had given
her a number of tests and found that she had a severe thyroid condition.
-
After
taking medication she felt much better. She was back on her job and able
to take an active part in
church once more. So her problem was not one of
a basic spiritual difficulty,
or even an emotional disturbance. Instead, hers was evidently a physical
disturbance caused by malfunctioning of the thyroid gland.
In addition to serving as a possible basic cause of depression, an
underactive thyroid is frequently found to be a compounding, complicating
factor. In other words, a person may be suffering from a basically
emotional problem.
–
In childhood his basic emotional needs for
love, affection and security were not met, so he entered adulthood with basic
feelings of unworthiness and depression. In addition to this, he may have a
borderline thyroid condition. If this person were emotionally well-adjusted,
the minimal thyroid condition would probably not trouble him. But because he is
already susceptible to emotional conflicts and since he already tends to be
discouraged and depressed, this mild thyroid
condition compounds the problem and makes him much more sensitive to
frustrations.
This combination of factors can then result in serious emotional
symptoms.
Psychological Factors in Depression
Moving
out of the realm of basically physiological factors
in depression, we discover a number
of significant psychological attitudes which are of utmost
importance in this
malady, especially in
its more serious forms.
–
The depressed person is essentially insecure –
one who has developed feelings of unworthiness over a period of many years. He is lacking in confidence. He is riddled by fear, guilt, and anxiety.
And he feels he does not measure up to the standards of his friends, his family
and his Lord. Because of this he is constantly plagued by feelings of failure and depression.
PARENTS – Perhaps
the most significant cause of psychological depression is a lack of spontaneous love and
affection in childhood. Children
often experience obvious and serious parental indifference and rejection. Mothers
and fathers (divorced or not) are busy at the office, on the job, and in
the community. They may see their children as interfering with their own search for security and happiness.
Consequently they fail to give their children the affection and attention which is needed.
–
Other parents, although having a deep and sincere love for their children, do
not express outwardly the love they feel in their hearts. They seldom compliment and encourage their children. They neglect to
show daily interest in the school work and activities of their sons and
daughters.
-
This lack of interest
and outward show of affection, even by well-meaning parents, is interpreted
by the child as rejection and
lack of love.
It is
not enough for a parent to love a child – he
should communicate and demonstrate this love. When such love is not present,
the child begins to feel alone, rejected, unloved, and unworthy. Even in the
early years of life, these basic emotional attitudes are instilled in the mind
and heart of the child.
TEACHERS - When talking to a group of parents about
the importance of showing love and affection to children, one parent said,
"Don't throw all the blame on us.
–
Teachers can cause a child to feel unloved and
unwanted, too." And, of course, this parent was right. Any adult who
works closely with a child (teachers, Sunday school teachers, relatives and
neighbours) can
affect the child's feelings about himself.
As
a child grows up he continues to react on the basis of his early feelings of rejection, criticism
and disinterest. He continues to feel unworthy, unloved and unwanted. As a
result, he leads an unhappy, frustrated and depressed existence. Life holds no
great joy and happiness because he feels separated from the love and acceptance
of others.
NEGATIVE
CORRECTION – Another basic cause of psychological depression
lies in negative correction. Some
parents try to mold their child’s
behavior by verbal lashings, which humiliate and
belittle him.
–
They
may point out the child's mistakes by calling him "stupid" or
“ignorant." They tease or give degrading nicknames. Such parental behavior makes a child feel that he actually is no good.
When parents continue to do so, a child begins to adopt these
attitudes and then develops genuine feelings of rejection and unworthiness.
While
such treatment by parents may temporarily motivate the child to function as the
parent wishes, it has a serious, detrimental effect in the long run because it
instils in the child a basic
feeling
of unworthiness.
SEPARATIONS - Other children develop basic attitudes of unworthiness and insecurity
which lead to feelings of discouragement and depression because of separation from parents and
loved ones. This often comes from divorced homes, separated
parents and occasionally from the death of a parent.
–
A
child's basic emotional attitudes are developed in relationship to loved ones -
especially parents. When one of these love objects is removed, a young child
may not have the opportunity to develop wholesome attitudes toward himself.
He does not feel loved and accepted. On the contrary, he feels that his
mother or father doesn't really care for him.
He does not experience the loving concern of a mother and father, which is so essential
to the development of good emotional attitudes.
UNFAVOURABLE
COMPARISONS
- Unfavorable comparison with siblings is another frequent cause of feelings of
discouragement and depression.
–
The
depressed individual is essentially one who feels he is unworthy and does not measure up to the standards of
others. One of the most significant factors in the development of this
attitude can be the common comparison by parents of the relative merits of
two children.
-
This
does not necessarily imply that the parents prefer one child over the
other, although it may. However, such comparisons do tend to make a
child feel unworthy and inadequate. Parental comparisons actually
demonstrate that they lack insight into the basic principles of dealing with
their children.
-
A
parent may think that the easiest way to motivate a child to act in a
desirable way is to compare him with another person, for example,
saying, "Johnny, why can't you do better? Your brother Bill always does
such a good job. Why can't you be like your brother?" And in response, the
child may set out to do his best and to try to prove to his parents that he can
perform as well as his brother.
-
However,
even though his immediate behavior may change, the parents are subtly telling this
boy that he is unworthy, he is not as adequate as his brother, and that
for him to be accepted he must live up to certain standards.
This
is the very attitude that begins to instil feelings of
worthlessness in the heart of a young child. These, in turn, lead to more
severe problems of depression and discouragement.
When
this child reaches adulthood,
the pattern of behavior and
the attitudes that were formed through childhood strongly remain.
–
Nearly
everything he does is influenced by the fact that he feels he is not as
adequate as other people, and that he must continuality strive to improve
himself. He may even
be unaware of these dynamics, but they are at work, just the same.
Because
he feels inadequate and unworthy,
he is easily discouraged.
He tends to blame himself for his failures, and he becomes engulfed
in a vicious cycle of feeling unworthy, blaming himself for the problem, and
setting out to do better. Even after he accomplishes, he still feels
he has not done well enough, and so the cycle continues.
It
is indeed difficult to overcome such a patter of negative emotional reaction.
PERFECTIONISM - Another
frequent cause o the basic emotional attitude of pessimism and discouragement
is found in parents
who are overly critical and perfectionistic.
–
Many
parents, in their desire to see their children become successful and well-liked
in school and in the community, establish overly-high standards. When
the child comes home from school with a "B," the mother wonders why
it wasn't a "B+," or an "A." - When a task is done at home,
the father is quick to point out how it could have been done better. And so it
is throughout the day.
-
Every
time a child accomplishes something, the parents may find fault or show how
they could have done it. They are actually trying to help the child understand
the importance of doing high-class work.
–
I
remember, for example, talking to a young man who was completing his doctor's
degree at a large university. "All my life," he said,
"I’ve been trying to win my parents' affection. The only times they
have ever complimented me have been the times when I brought home good school
grades.
Only
recently have I realized that my taking graduate study is still another attempt to produce high
academic grades and gain their favor."
To
a child, the most important thing in life is
not that he accomplishes great tasks, or that he gets the highest
grades in the class. How much more important for him to reach adulthood with a
high degree of emotional and spiritual adjustment.
Ø
When
a person is well-adjusted emotionally and spiritually,
accomplishment comes naturally. School will usually pose no special problem.
But when a child is continually criticized, he begins to feel he is not
living up to his parents' standards, and that he is not a worthy person.
He
is only loved when he achieves on the level of his parents' goals and their
satisfaction. He once again is forming a strong attitude of unworthiness
which leads to more serious feelings of worry and depression.
These
are some of the major factors
which we continually find
at the base of depression. In overcoming
such negative emotions, it is necessary to evaluate these factors and
understand the manner in which they have influenced the person's emotional
attitudes, his image of himself and of other people.
Ø
At
the counseling centers of the Narramore Christian Foundation
we often counsel with people who manifest temporary depressive reactions. Unless given special help, these feelings
may last from short periods to as long as a year or more.
Ø
Such
factors as pressure, financial reverses, loss of job, death of a
loved one, separation, severe disappointments, personal attacks and traumatic
events can produce feelings of depression. These experiences can
trigger mild or moderate feelings of insecurity to the point that the person
feels terribly discouraged and depressed.
A skilled Christian
therapist can be of inestimable value in such cases.
è The essential factor in overcoming all spiritual and emotional problems is
1
first to understand and face the problem realistically, and
2
secondly
to gain insight into the basic causes of it.
As
we continue to discuss the problem of depression, the foregoing psychological
factors should be kept in mind.[3]
Spiritual Aspects of Depression
The
greatest source of frustration
and discouragement is the lack
of a vital relationship with God through Jesus Christ.
Ø
The person
who has not experienced a personal relationship with Christ can have no
ultimate meaning and purpose in life. This is the way God created humankind.
This is their very nature.
Ø
Without
Christ, there can be no moorings, no optimism, no ultimate security
and stability. Outside of Christ, no one can have the fullest joy of
life. These are the scientific facts enunciated by God Himself in the Bible.
Ø
With Christ,
living takes on a new perspective.
The knowledge that we are
spiritual beings, created in God's
image, gives a new understanding to life.
The
search for meaning and purpose
which once floated from
friendships, to finances, to fun, are now contentedly harboured in the
Word of God!
Ø
Until a person recognizes
that he is created in God’s image, that he is sinful,
separated from God and that he needs
to have a personal relationship with Jesus
Christ, he is, in a sense, out
of step with reality. He hasn't accepted the facts.
He
is continually running into blind alleys. Every attempt at joy, happiness and
security is met by a measure of frustration. and discouragement.
Human
history is replete with literally millions of
people whose lives have been changed through a personal experience
with Christ.
Ø
I
was talking with a young, college, graduate student recently who
portrayed a sense of futility and
lack of purpose in life. He told me some of his own personal sorrows
and problems.
-
He
talked of his search to overcome these difficulties by education,
intellectual pursuits, and trough social and other means.
Ø
As
we talked I pointed out his need for spiritual life.
-
After
several sessions of discussion and reading the Bible, he knelt and
said, ''l' d
like to ask Christ into my life."
-
He
prayed. saying. "Jesus. l' m a sinner and I need You. Would You come
into my life and give me a new life?"
The
following week he said, "You know, l' m
a different person. It's the difference between just existing and living.” How well put, because truly it is.
Ø
A
person without a vital relationship
to Christ is actually just existing.
He has only temporary life.
But
when he puts his faith and trust in Christ, he begins to live on a different plane with a
new dimension. Life is enjoyable. It has new meaning and purpose and holds
abundant blessings for the person who is in proper relationship with the very
Creator of the human personality.
But
in spite of the new life and abundant blessings received when a
person establishes a personal relationship with Christ, many
Christians are still leading dissatisfied and frustrated lives.
Ø
One reason
for this lack of an intimate, daily awareness of the presence of God
is clearly outlined in the Scripture.
Before Christ ascended into Heaven, He promised to
send the Holy Spirit who would be our Comforter. In John 14:16 we read,
“And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he
may abide with you forever."
Ø
Through the power of the Holy Spirit, God
has made provision for a daily walk in close communion with God.
However,
Ø
many
believers do not experience the joy
of this close communion and
fellowship. They have Christ as their personal Saviour, and they
may have some knowledge of God's Word. They may even be sharing Christ
with others on occasion.
But
they lack understanding that God is a reality throughout all the changing experiences of life.
THREE
CLASSES OF PEOPLE – Now
we begin to see three major classes of people.
1
First, those who are
outside of
Christ - the natural man who has not
received Christ as his personal Saviour. He meets the greatest
frustrations and discouragements. He is constantly in conflict with the eternal truths of God. He
is out of step with
much of reality and the Creator of the universe.
2
"Secondly,
there are those who have a personal knowledge
of Jesus Christ, but who
are not experiencing a vital, daily
relationship. These individuals may be likened to the son
of a wealthy businessman and his wife.
He is a legal son and heir. No one doubts his sonship. People know his parents
well. But for an unknown reason, the son fails to take the simple steps needed
to inherit his father's riches. And so it is with the person who does
not understand God's moment-by-moment communion with man. He is no less a son
of God, for he has received Christ as his personal Saviour. But
he is failing to appropriate the wealth of inheritance
which God has provided for his day-by-day living.
3
In
a third class of people we see those whose lives are daily controlled by God’s
Spirit. This
continual communion and fellowship is available to every believer and
clearly outlined in the Word of God. In Ephesians 5:18 we
are commanded to ". . . be filled with the Spirit." And other
Scriptures in the New Testament clearly outline the means for this continual
filling and abiding of the Spirit.
a)
In
Ephesians 4:30 we read, "And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed
unto the day of redemption." We are
commanded here
to grieve not the Spirit.
- We grieve the third Person of the
Trinity when there is sin in our lives. Of course, as with all of
God's commandments, He makes provision for overcoming this problem.
- First John 1:9 is a verse familiar to most
Christians: "lf we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive
us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
This
is the first step for any believer who wants to experience in a deeper and more meaningful way the continual presence of God.
This is God's provision for overcoming a grievance against the Holy Spirit.
b)
Secondly, we are commanded in 1
Thessalonians 5:19 to "Quench not the Spirit," In other
words we are not to be disobedient to the Lord or refuse to yield to His
guidance.
-
The solution to this is given again in the New
Testament in Romans 12:1,2: "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that
ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable
unto God, which is your reasonable service.
And be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of
your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect,
will of God."
c)
And finally, a third clear step
for those seeking a closer communion and deeper fellowship with Christ through
the power of the Holy Spirit, is found in Galatians 5:25: "lf we live in the Spirit,
let us also walk in the Spirit."
–
In other
words, the Christian who wants to experience the continual
fellowship of Christ is to walk in conscious dependence on the Spirit.
We are not to rely on
self-will. We are to be in a continual state of dependence on the
Lord's guidance and His Spirit.
As the Christian practices confession of sin, learns to yield
to the Lord rather than to quench His Spirit through disobedience, and
as he comes to depend upon God, a new and meaningful day-by-day
relationship of joy and happiness is established.
Ø
Without this control
by the Spirit, however,
we can see why many Christians are continually frustrated, worried and
depressed.
-
We are create in God's
image and only function most
effectively when we are operating on the principles established in the Word
of God.
-
Therefore, although a person may know Christ as his Saviour,
è
unless he lives by the truths of God’s Word,
-
confesses his sin,
-
yields his life to
Christ and
-
walks in the power of
the Spirit of God,
he is not utilizing the fullness of the promise which God has made to him – and to all
believers.
Failure to recognize the believer’s position in Christ, the sovereignty of God and the principle
of the power of the Spirit to guide the believer’s daily life, are basic causes of discouragement and
depression.
Overcoming Depression
In any problem of
depression which is longstanding and serious, the first step
should be a complete physical examination.
Ø
If a person is suffering from an underactive thyroid
or some other significant physical condition, any amount of insight, counseling and
spiritual application will be of limited value.
-
Not until the basic, underlying, physical
problem is corrected can progress be made in the spiritual or emotional
realm.
-
So any time a person is suffering from a serious problem of depression which has
existed for some time, medical services should be obtained. It is
often wise to have the services of an endocrinologist who is a medical
doctor
specializing in the treatment of the glands of the endocrine system. He is
especially trained to deal with problems such as thyroid and is alert in
detecting problems of this nature.
The Psalmist says we
are fearfully and wonderfully made, and, indeed, we are.
Ø
In dealing with human
adjustment, it is difficult to clearly delineate which aspect of an
adjustment problem is physical, which is spiritual, and which is emotional.
- True, there are guidelines
for this, but it is frankly impossible to state a totally conclusive distinction
between these three.
For the purposes of
our own understanding of our problem, however, we will attempt to segregate some
of the basic factors in overcoming depression by spiritual and emotional means.
When a person is
frustrated by a lack of meaning and
purpose and has an awareness of his own sense of need, this
is frequently a clear sign of a spiritual problem.
Ø
Indeed, as
we have discussed previously, the
person outside of Jesus Christ cannot
experience the fullest joy and happiness in life.
Ø
For
this person, the one who has never acknowledged the working
of God through the ages and in his life personally, the most important step
in overcoming an emotional attitude of worry and
pessimism is to establish firmly a proper relations with Jesus Christ.
This is clearly
outlined in the Scripture.
The
person who has not yet acknowledged the
person and work of Jesus Christ must first come to the recognition
that all men are spiritual beings. We are created in God’s likeness. In Genesis
1:26 we read, “And God said, Let us make man in our own image, after our
likeness."
Ø
Because
man is a spiritual being, he
has a capacity to know God, to
have communion with God and to establish a personal relationship
with Him.
Ø
A second
step in establishing this personal relationship with Christ is to acknowledge
that all men have wilfully sinned and are, therefore, separated from the Holy God.
In Romans 3:23 we read,
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God." Also in Romans
we see, "There is none righteous, no, not one" (Romans 3:10).
As a person turns the pages
of the Bible and begins to see his unworthiness
before God and the fact that all men have sinned, he
comes to the next clear step in God’s plan for his life.
Ø
This is the understanding that the penalty of sin is death and
that Christ has paid this
penalty. We read in Romans 6:23,
“For the wages of sin is death;
but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ....”
Ø
Because
man is sinful and God is holy, God's righteous nature has demanded a penalty of
death. But because God is a God of love, He sent His own Son, Jesus Christ,
to take upon Himself our sins and to pay the penalty of death which we
deserved.
The
Scriptures clearly show this substitution. “But
God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ
died for us" (Romans 5:8).
And finally, a person can complete this eternal transaction with God by recognizing
Ø
that it is not enough to
believe and tremble (James 2 :19).
-
It is not enough to believe
that Jesus Christ is God's Son. It is not even enough
to believe that He died on the cross for sinners.
-
Every person must individually ask Jesus Christ to come into his own life. We read in John 1:12,
"But as many as received Him, to them gave he power to become the sons
of God, even to them that believe on his name."
-
Again, in Revelation 3:20 we read, "’Behold, I
stand at the door and knock; if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I
will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me."
For the person who has never established a personal relationship
with Jesus Christ, this is the most important decision he will ever make.
Ø
As a result of this eternal transaction, a
person has a new resource, a new power, a new stability, a
new meaning and purpose to life.
Ø
God's
plan of salvation is not meant to be a psychological mechanism to
relieve feelings of frustration, fear and worry.
But
it is designed to re-establish
our relationship with God so
that He can, out of the abundance His will, provide every believer with a
joyous and abundant life.
For the person who has established a personal relationship with Christ, but
continues to suffer from worry, discouragement and depression,
the Scripture is abundantly
clear.
Ø
In
Galatians 5:22, 23, we read of the
fruits of the Spirit: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy,
peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith. meekness, temperance:
against such there is no law."
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Second
in this list of fruits of the
Spirit is joy. Christians who are lacking any of these virtues, as well as those who show a failure to
witness (see Acts 1:8) and to fellowship with other
believers and to yield their lives fully to Christ (Romans 12: 1,
2), are clearly evidencing
a spiritual problem.
This problem centers upon their inability or refusal to yield
totally to Christ and to allow their lives to be controlled moment
by moment by the Holy Spirit.
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For this person the solution is plain. God
never makes anything difficult for man. God is not trying to hide His blessings
from us. He has outlined them in His Word and He is waiting to give them to us.
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Many
Christians, however, do not fully understand God's provisions.
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Some have failed to study the Word of God and
see the provisions Christ has made.
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Others know full well the Scriptures and God's
provision, but they refuse to yield because of self-will. self-centeredness
and a desire to manage their own lives. In a sense they are placing themselves above God, rather than yielding to His sovereignty, love and
power.
But as discussed previously under the spiritual aspects or causes
of emotional discouragement, the ministry of the Holy Spirit in every believer's
life is a reality which can be appropriated according to the
simple plan of the Scriptures
(see "Spiritual Aspects of Depression").
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In Ephesians 5:18 the Scriptures tell us, "And be not drunk with wine,
wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit.” This is God's command, and we can be
sure that where God commands He also provides the means of fulfilment.
We grieve the Holy Spirit
by sin, in the life. And
this, of course, is corrected as we turn to Christ and ask forgiveness,
according to 1 John 1:9.
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By quenching the Spirit,
the Scriptures mean failure to yield to
the guidance
of the Spirit, or
disobedience to the Lord.
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The solution to this is found in the Scripture in Romans 12:1, 2: "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies
a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable
service. And be not
conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind. . . ."
We
are to walk in conscious dependence upon the Spirit.
Ø
These clear steps are God's provision
for cleansing the believer from sin, yielding his life to Christ, allowing
the power of Christ to live out through his life by means of the Holy Spirit.
When
the Christian has met these Biblical standards and has yielded his life to the Lord, there is a new radiance
and joy.
Ø
Experiences that previously proved frustrating, experiences of
worrying, anxiety, fear, and discouragement
begin to lose their hold.
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The Christian sees that moment by moment God is in control of his life,
guarding his everyday experiences, at home, at work, at school, wherever he
may be.
So with this close
relationship and fellowship with the Lord Jesus Christ, the believer has a
new and absolute resource
for a sense of optimism and joy, and a freedom from worry, fear
and discouragement.
Not all Christians, however, are able fully to understand and
appropriate God's richest gift through the ministry and power of the
Spirit.
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Some. of course, openly reject total dedication to Christ because of their own self-will.
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On the other hand, many
believers, because of their emotional difficulties and long-standing
personality conflicts, are unable to comprehend or claim God's abundant
provisions.
A person who has a severe problem of depression, for example,
who has been "overlooked" or rejected by his parents, who has never
experienced human love at any level, and has known only rejection and
hostility, finds it nearly impossible to relate to God in a loving manner.
Love
is basically a learned response.
If a child grows up
in a home where the parents love and show affection and acceptance, he learns
to love. He comes to feel accepted and is able to share this with others.
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But when a child is raised in a home where there is continual rejection and rebuff,
he finds it difficult to relate to God. He reads Scriptures on God's
love and forgiveness, but these words are hardly in his emotional
vocabulary because from his parents (and possibly teachers) all he knew was
criticism and rebuke.
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He
can read Scriptures on the ministry of the Spirit and the fact that “in
thy presence is fullness of joy" (Psalm 16:11), and that
"the fruit of the Spirit is love and joy." But he is unable to accept the truth of these Scriptures because of his emotional conflict.
The answer to overcoming the problem of discouragement
and depression for these individuals still lies in establishing a close
relationship with the Lord.
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But the process of attaining this goal is a difficult and
complex road.
Rather
than simply confessing sin and yielding to God’s guidance and walking in
dependence on the Spirit, this person may first need to resolve many of
the basic personality conflicts which make him unable to yield his
life to Christ.
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Indeed, he may find it
difficult to believe the Scriptures which say, "But God
commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners,
Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).
However, with the process of counseling many
of these individuals can begin to experience, on a genuine level, the love
of God.
The
difficulties implied in this brief discussion of those who are unable to appropriate God's provisions, due to long
standing emotional conflicts, point out the need for some people to obtain psychological
help.
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Realizing,
of course, that many problems of discouragement and
depression stem from long-standing and severe personality conflicts,
which can only be helped by professional counseling,
there
still remain a large number of people who have less
serious problems of discouragement and who can obtain much relief
through basic insights, without professional counseling.
1.
The first step in overcoming such an emotional difficulty which is not of a severe
nature is to recognize the problem.
This,
which at first glance may sound trite and simple, many times turns out to be the most complex
aspect of the entire problem.
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To recognize his the person must talk it out. This, of course, can be shared with the
Lord in times of prayer, and it also can be shared with a friend, a
loved one, a husband or a wife.
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So
often the real problem does not arise
in first discussion. In professional counseling, for example, it may be the fourth or fifth
or even eighth or tenth session before the counselee begins to reach the
heart of the real problem.
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So for
the person who is suffering from depression, the most important step is to
have a friend who accepts him and with whom he can share his
feelings of discouragement, of frustration, or hostility.
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As
this takes place, the person begins to gain some insight into the basic nature
of his problem.
2. Along with this recognition of the problem is a search for the causes.
Any
successful treatment,
whether spiritual, medical, or psychological, is dependent upon proper
diagnosis.
Ø
A medical
doctor's labors are largely in vain unless he knows the cause of the problem.
To prescribe penicillin
for a sprained wrist is of little value, and to apply Scripture regarding
the plan of salvation to a person who already knows Christ as his Saviour,
is likewise of little consequence.
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And so it is in the field of emotional adjustment. If we are to approach the problem correctly, we must first understand
the basic cause.
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As
you discuss with a close friend or loved one your emotional reactions, search
for the original causes of these.
Evaluate factors discussed in this book, such as rejection, criticism. unfavorable comparison with siblings, critical attitude parents,
or negative correction. In thoroughly discussing these and similar
factors, try to determine which, if any, apply, and to what extent they
have had a part in causing your current attitudes and reactions.
3.
As the causes are traced, a third major step in overcoming emotional
depression is to understand the
dynamics.
This
relates closely to the basic causes of the problem, but goes into a
deeper realm of understanding the emotional "workings" of your behavior.
Ø
I once counseled with a lady, for example, who was suffering from depression. I asked her
to make note of the times during the next week in which she became especially
depressed. She came back the next week and had two especially
significant experiences.
Ø
One was on
a Monday afternoon and evening and another was on a Thursday
night.
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As
we discussed those days, she said that during the afternoon her employer
had become very upset and had criticized her work. She said from that
time on she was definitely depressed. The next day she was a little
better and got along all right.
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On
Thursday of that week she reported that her husband "bawled her out,”
and criticized her for the way she was caring for the children. "I
just went to pieces," she said. "I was so depressed, I cried uncontrollably.
Even the next day, I was not really recuperated but was worried and
depressed throughout that day."
As
we talked, it became evident that this woman reacted to criticism with severe feelings of depression.
Ø
The
psychological dynamic in her adjustment problem was that when criticized,
she felt more unworthy, more rejected and therefore, more depressed.
And so it is with all emotional adjustment problems.
There is an underlying dynamic. Something is going on psychologically,
and this can generally be determined.
As
a person talks over an adjustment difficulty and finds the causes, he also needs to search for the
underlying dynamic to see just what is happening emotionally.
4. As a person gains this insight, the fourth
major step in overcoming depression is reached: the application of the Bible which is rich in comfort and resource to all those suffering from
emotional ills.
Ø
God
has created us as emotional beings,
and His Word speaks
to our emotional adjustment. To the depressed person, for example, the Word
says in Ephesians 1:6, "To the praise of the glory of his grace,
wherein he hath made
us accepted in the beloved."
Ø
The depressed
person is one who feels rejected and unloved; yet as he turns to God's Word, he is constantly faced with the love of
God ("accepted in the beloved”).
What
wonderful comfort to see that in Christ we are totally accepted
before God. We are one of His own loved ones. Even though He knows all
about us, He loves and accepts us!
And
again, in 1 John 2:1, 2 we read, "My little children these things write I unto you, that ye sin
not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with
the Father, Jesus Christ, the righteous. And he is the propitiation for
our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole
world."
Ø
These
verses speak of our worthiness before God. The depressed person,
as we have seen, feels unworthy, unloved an unaccepted. But as
he turns to the Word, he finds that
although he is unworthy, the whole race is, as well.
The
Scriptures say, "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God" (Romans 3: 23 ).
Ø
And
the depressed person can begin to comprehend that as a Christian
he has a new sense of worthiness and
total adequacy. Not through anything he has done, not through what his parents have said, but
instead, through what Jesus Christ
has done on the cross.
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His
sense of adequacy, of worthiness and well-being and of being
loved, is no longer derived from parents or those about him, but it is
derived from the eternal truths of the Word of God.
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In
other words, he no longer takes his life's cues from people, but from God. As a person goes deeper into the Word, the
eternal truths begin to take root in the depths of his heart, thereby
making a real application to his emotional adjustment.
This, of course, is not
an instant process. It
requires time, because the person who is depressed often finds it
difficult to believe these statements in God's Word.
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But as these basic steps
are followed, helpful insight is
received. A person can turn to the Lord and say,
"Father,
I recognize that I have trouble understanding Your love.
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I feel unworthy, but
teach me to love;
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teach me to understand
when it says in Your Word that I am accepted in the beloved.
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Teach me the meaning of
this.
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I understand that I am
hindered because of past reactions. I want You to teach me Your love in a new
way."
Then this person can begin to
realize in a new and full way the total acceptance of God.
Following this comes the remission of symptoms of discouragement and depression.
Ø
Such
a process, then, is only complete as the person continues to grow
in the Lord daily by
Bible reading, time spent
in prayer, and sharing Christ with others.
As a
person develops such personal insight into his own emotional and spiritual
adjustment, the Lord continually improves his emotional well-being. God
provides a new peace and joy and enables abundant blessings to flow from his
life.
We
have traced the range of depression from mild discouragement to more severe, emotional conflicts which result
in attempts at suicide or the need for placement in mental institutions.
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Also,
we have discussed some of the basic spiritual, physical and emotional causes
of these disturbances.
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We
have seen that for many people the essential problem is the fact that
they have never experienced a personal relationship wit Jesus Christ.
Because of this, their lives are lacking in meaning and purpose.
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For
others, we have seen that, although they
have accepted Christ as their Saviour, they have not yet yielded
their lives totally to Christ. They do not understand the moment-by-moment
and day-by-day walk with Christ.
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We
have traced the Biblical teaching of the
ministry of the Spirit and the way in which all Christians can
appropriate God's wonderful provisions.
In
addition, we have considered
many of the emotional
factors - childhood experiences which hinder emotional growth and allow a
person to enter adulthood still suffering from severe emotional deprivations.
Ø
This
person is unable to feel loved and worthy, and consequently suffers from
feelings of discouragement and depression.
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Then
we looked at the means of overcoming many of these problems, when
they are not of a severe nature.
There are however, many Christians suffering from severe depression who need long-term professional counseling. The immediate reaction of some Christians is, “Oh, no!” If I'm a
Christian, I shouldn't have emotional problems." But this is not true.
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As
we have seen, some problems are basically
spiritual and some, on the other hand, are physical or psychological.
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A
believer should not hesitate to seek needed help.
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Few
Christians are reticent to turn to a medical doctor for assistance with a broken leg, pneumonia
or brain injury.
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Likewise,
believers should not hesitate to turn to men of God who have given their
lives to serving others through the
field of Christian counseling.
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The Christian psychologist or psychiatrist is a servant of God
to whom the Lord has given special techniques and insight in understanding
human behavior. Few would hesitate to go to their minister
for counsel and guidance regarding spiritual matters.
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A
Christian counselor is
in a very real way serving a similar function in helping people overcome their spiritual and emotional maladjustments. Because
he has specialized training in his field, he is able to untie some of the
harder knots of emotional disturbance.
One
may raise the question,
"Who should go for professional
counseling? How
serious must a problem be before it deserves professional attention?" The
answers vary from person to person, but some general suggestions may be given:
One
of these guidelines is to ask,
Ø
"Is my problem severe enough to seriously lower
my level of functioning?"
In other words, people can have problems, and yet their daily work is not
particularly hindered. They may become rather easily frustrated and discouraged,
but basically they are able to perform their duties. A housewife may be
suffering from a spiritual problem when she refuses to yield her life to the
Lord. Yet she is able to carry on her work. But when a person’s daily
efficiency is obviously seriously
hindered, this is a sign that the problem may be sufficiently severe to
deserve professional attention.
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A
second guideline is to evaluate the length or duration of the problem.
Many difficulties come and go. But
when a problem has lingered
for months or years, it is generally of a more serious nature. Then,
professional help, be it spiritual, physical or emotional, should be sought to
overcome this problem.
Ø
A
third important guideline is to ask: "Have I responded to previous
attempts to solve the problem?" Many Christians, for example, have
prayed over an emotional disturbance. They have taken it to their pastor
and discussed it, and he has prayed with them. Yet they have not
improved. They understand basic Biblical teaching regarding God's
provision for daily living through the ministry of the Spirit. Yet they have
obtained no relief from their adjustment difficulty.
If their problems were essentially spiritual, and the person were sincere in his search for help, then God
would not have withheld the answer.
He would not have left him dangling.
The very fact that the problem has not responded to past spiritual help is indicative that it
may well be of a long-standing emotional nature.
Ø And, of course, the opposite is true. Many non-Christians go to a
secular psychologist for feelings of discouragement and depression. They
talk it through; they analyze the causes and consider the childhood
experiences. They understand the theories, but they are still depressed.
Ø In many instances the basic problem is that the person has not
established a meaningful relationship with the Lord. His problem is not emotional — it is spiritual.
Ø So in this case, the person who is receiving emotional help, but
has not responded, should seek
another solution because his problem apparently is of a spiritual nature.
These three guidelines can offer
much guidance in
understanding the need for professional help from well-trained
counselors.
One closing word: Although there is tremendous relief from de
depression through spiritual resources and through talking over the
difficulties with a loved one or friend, there are cases in which the
problem is of a long-standing and severe nature.
Ø These deserve professional attention.
Christians should count it a
privilege to consult with competent men whom the Lord has provided to offer
assistance in resolving the more serious, emotional conflicts of life.